How to Choose a Car Alarm: A Complete Guide
A practical guide to choosing a reliable car alarm: from budget to premium solutions. We analyze the types, functions, installation features and common mistakes...
Well, how do you choose this very car alarm?! It seems like the market is huge, and there are plenty of advisers, but it’s still hard to decide… Do you know what unites the owners of a luxurious Ferrari and a shabby “nine”? Ha! That’s right – a desperate desire to protect your vehicle from all sorts of bad people. And here, whether you like it or not, without a good alarm – nowhere! Let’s figure out all these intricacies, without marketing fluff and intrusive advertising.
Types of car alarms: from simple to complex
It's amazing how many of them have bred! But let's first put all these alarms on the shelves... Just like in the garage of Uncle Vasya - that same legendary auto mechanic with 30 years of experience, for whom every screwdriver knows its place.
One-way alarms
Oh, these simple options! They work on the principle of "beep and forget" - just like an old key fob from the entrance. Press the button - the car responds with an annoying beep. Is it simple? No word! Reliable? I just burst out laughing... In our time, such protection is like a lock on a suitcase: it seems to be there, but touch it - and it falls apart. By the way, I had a case: I installed one on my first car, and it managed to go off from pigeons flying past! Can you imagine?
Two-way systems
Now that's a whole other story! Just imagine this: you're sitting at home in the warmth, sipping hot tea, and your little swallow is reporting on all of its "adventures". Some suspicious guy passed too close? Brrr! - the key fob vibrated. Did you try to open the door? Oh-pa! - the siren is already howling, and the key fob is about to jump out of your hands. Beauty! True, sometimes these systems are too... how can I put it... impressionable. I had a neighbor with such an alarm - and his car put on a real concert every night because of stray cats!
GSM alarms
Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is the pinnacle of modern technology! These smart gadgets don't just call you on your phone - they send SMS, show your location via satellite, and some can even start the engine and turn on the heater via an app! Just like in James Bond movies, only in real life. And you know what? Sometimes it's even cooler!
Key Features: What Really Matters?
Autostart: luxury or necessity?
Tell me, who among you likes to get into an icy car on a frosty morning? No one? I thought so! It's especially "fun" when it's -30°C outside, you're in full dress - a suit, polished shoes, and the car greets you with such a chill that your teeth are chattering. Autostart in such a situation is just a song!
Although... I had a case: I installed a fancy system with autostart, I was happy as a child. And then one day, on the coldest day of the year, the system decided that starting the engine was not its profile. I had to go to work by metro, and then spend another week explaining to my colleagues why I, such an advanced car owner, suddenly switched to public transport.
Sensors: The eyes and ears of your alarm
- Shock sensor: sensitive as a lady on her first date! Reacts to absolutely everything – from falling snowflakes to birds flying by. I remember once my alarm went into a real hysterics because the neighbor's cat decided to sharpen its claws on the wheel. Can you imagine? Three o'clock in the morning, and I'm running to the parking lot in slippers and pajamas!
- Tilt sensor: this is your personal guard against tow trucks and fans of other people's wheels. This is especially relevant if you are a master of parking in the style of "I like it here!" However, sometimes it can mistake a regular road repair for an attempt at theft. It happened - an asphalt paver was driving by, and my car decided that they were trying to steal it!
- Volume sensor: monitors the movement in the car like a vigilant mother-in-law monitors her son-in-law. The only problem is that sometimes it confuses your Chihuahua with a seasoned car thief. And these sensors also love to react to bags that the wind drives around the parking lot. It's like a detective!
How to choose “your” alarm system?
Estimate the budget
It's like the joke about the greedy guy who decided to save on locks and then spent six months looking for his stolen car! Let's be honest: good protection costs money, and a lot of it. But! This doesn't mean you need to buy the most expensive, fancy system. You know what my grandmother used to say? "A miser pays twice, and a generous person pays three times" (that's when you shell out a fortune for features you'll never use).
Consider the make of the car
Honestly, installing a super-duper-mega-tricked-out alarm system for 50 thousand on an old Logan is like putting on a tuxedo to dig potatoes at the dacha. Funny and absurd! But owners of premium cars without serious protection are better off not leaving the garage at all. Although... I had a friend who installed such a cool alarm system on his ancient Moskvich that even Mercedes owners were jealous. True, the alarm ended up costing more than the car itself!
Parking location matters
- Are you parking in the courtyard of a residential area? You can't do without a shock sensor and a GSM module! You know how it happens - you go out in the morning, and the car has already "left" for a new place of residence.
- Keeping your iron horse in a guarded parking lot? You can get by with a simpler system. Although... there was a case when the guard was sleeping so soundly that even the alarm siren didn't wake him up!
- Leaving your car in "hot spots"? You can't do without a satellite tracking system and a couple of bodyguards! I'm joking about the bodyguards, of course, but a satellite module is a must have.
What should you pay special attention to during installation?
Selecting an installation center
Oh, that's a whole other story! This is where you really can't save a penny. Incorrect installation of an alarm is like a failed heart transplant. The organ seems to be good, but the patient is unhappy for some reason... I remember a case: one of my friends decided to save money and installed an alarm "in a friend's garage". It all ended with the car either not starting, or on the contrary - stalling at a traffic light, or suddenly turning on the windshield wipers in sunny weather. Comedy!
What to do if the alarm is broken?
And even with the highest quality installation, troubles sometimes happen. The system may start acting up, the key fob may stop working, or even worse - the alarm will block the engine from starting at the most inopportune moment. In such cases, you may need disabling car alarms with departure specialist. By the way, I advise you to write down the phone number of such a service in advance - you never know what might happen during a winter business trip or a trip out of town!
Warranty service
This is sacred! Be sure to clarify all the warranty conditions - both for the alarm itself and for the installation work. Otherwise, you know how it was in that story: the installer went off to conquer new horizons, and you were left alone with the system, which lives its own life. I had such a case - the alarm suddenly decided that the "close" button now means "open all the doors and blink the headlights in a friendly manner." Fun, but not very...
Common mistakes when choosing an alarm system
Chasing brands
"Oh, but my neighbor has a SUPER-MEGA-ALARM 3000, and he's so happy!" Sounds familiar, right? But here's the problem - a well-known name does not always mean quality. Sometimes you overpay just for a pretty sticker and a trendy name. I had a friend who bought an alarm solely because it was advertised by a famous actor. Guess how it all ended? That's right - the actor continued to star in commercials, and my friend continued to walk after the theft.
Savings on installation
"And my brother-in-law can deliver it for half the price!" - sounds tempting, right? Just like an offer to buy an iPhone at the market for 5,000 rubles. Just don't be surprised later why the car won't start, or beeps by itself in the middle of the night, or suddenly decides to play Christmas tree with all the headlights on at once.
Conclusion: How not to get confused in the variety of choices?
You know what? Choosing an alarm is like choosing a life partner: it is important to find the right one, with a suitable character and without bad habits! Do not chase fashion and other people's advice, choose what suits you and your four-wheeled friend.
And remember the main rule: even the coolest alarm system will not protect you from all troubles (just as marriage does not guarantee eternal happiness), but a properly selected system will significantly reduce risks and give you a peaceful sleep. And what else does a tired car owner need after a hard day? Maybe an autopilot to the house and a personal mechanic in the trunk... But that's a completely different story!